Well it's 2015. The MonSter is no better. My medical care is no better. My outlook is no better. I'm depressed. I'm almost constantly fatigued. The injection, the chemicals, this poison that I inject into my body is not making me feel better. But there was never a promise of it making me feel better. Actually there are no promises given to us when we are given these DMDs. A DMD is a Disease Modifying Drug. It's purpose in a MS patient is to slow our immune system and stop it from destroying our nervous system. No promises. Some can actually destroy our immune system. That's not a promise, that's a fact...
There's a pretty vicious type A influenza going around right now. Makes me want to skip my Copaxone. I'm scared to get the flu. I have no one to take care of me if I fall ill with the real flu. My life will literally become a living hell. I'm not allowed to be sick. To have a bad day. To just sleep when I feel overwhelmingly fatigued.
I allow others recovery time when they're sick or overtired. Hey if you're tired and need a nap, take a nap! Rarely am I given the same consideration. I truly believe this contributes to my emotional well being.
I'm weighing my options...
I'm not really feeling better, I'm 54, I'm still pretty independent. That's not bad for an MSer. So is the side effects of the DMD worth it at this point? Yes, I didn't expect a miracle!
I do have a lot of cognitive issues visual issues and horrible fatigue. The fatigue in itself is disabling. It's 2015, why hasn't some scientist produced a treatment for disabling fatigue? It's easy to say, get up and move. When you're feeling good, it's easier to just do it. We need to get to the point where we can get up to get an exercise routine started!
Well I must look after my traditional pork n kraut New Years Day meal. It's supposed to be good luck.
Hope 2015 brings good health and finances to my family and friends.....
